One of my last posts from Prague

So, this will probably be my last post from Prague. I leave in less than 48 hours, and I already have one suitcase completely packed, and the other one will follow suit tomorrow. I am going to be sad to leave some of the people here, but I glad to be going home. I have really enjoyed my time here, but I have learned things about myself in a way that only four months in another country, with little Christian fellowship, can accomplish. I will say though that I love the three girls that I live with. Kristina, my roommate, has been an absolute joy. She is just a TAD compulsive, but it has worked out fairly well, and I became the messier one of the two. And considering I am not that messy, living conditions were never an issue. She also has one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen in another person. She is really considerate and always does her very best not to be too loud when she gets back late, and I love her for it. She is really sweet and thoughtful as well. Now that it sounds like we are dating, I just want to add that I am going to miss her personality. She is funny and loud and crazy and a little inappropriate, but she makes every day an adventure. Right now, she is wearing a thong on her head while she packs. What will I do without her. Sally is my favorite suitemate. She can tell stories even better than I can, and her supply of entertaining stories is endless. She is very practical and so often offers pretty good advice. She also never makes me feel bad for not wanting to go out, and I appreciate that very much. She always makes me smile, and I think people are just drawn to her personality. She is very real, yet also fairly inappropriate :) Are you sensing the theme of our suite yet? She is also a very caring person, and often offers to make me dinner or pick things up from the store for me if I need anything. I will miss seeing her everyday, as well as her ever-present food-baby "Susan." I will also miss the constant yelling back and forth between Sally and Kristina over anything and everything. Because face-to-face interaction is overrated. In fact, right now, they are singing back and forth to each other (because they are in love) in crazy voices, and switching songs every 30 seconds. It is going to be hard to leave that behind. Elina is Sally's roommate, and my other suitemate. Elina is fluent in Russian, because that's where her family is from, and is pretty much the coolest thing ever to hear her skyping with her family. Elina is a senior as well, so this was her last semester in school. She is the "fireplug" of the group. Elina and I have also done a fair amount of bonding over the t.v. shows we watch. Her computer doesn't work, so she often uses mine for her work as well as catching up on t.v. So, occasionally, I will watch them with her, and we have a good time. Interestingly enough, she is probably the one out of the three of them who is the most interested in the cultural aspects of studying abroad. She will go on the walking tours fairly often, and she does a lot of exploring on her own.

Overall, I have had quite an amazing adventure with these girls, and I will miss them. I do have to say though, humbly, I might add, that I have learned a lot more about myself this semester than I had thought I would. I have always been pretty mature for my age. My mom always tells me that I was ready to be on my own from the time I was 15, and to a large extent she was right. I have always been independent and free-thinking. I won't be forced to do anything, and the best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can't. I am then forced to show you I can :) Since my family moved around a lot when I was growing up, I have often been forced to adapt and change to new situations and environments. I think that this is one of those instances where God is showing me how His plan is working out for my good. I hated moving growing up, and I greatly resented my parents each time that we did. My personality resists change immensely, so all that moving was like trying to force and A.D.D. child to sit still in a chair and stare at a wall, but in reverse. It went against everything in my nature, but I had to adapt. It was the only way to survive. Those habits helped me to make the most of my trip in Prague. A lot of the students had a harder time adjusting than I did, just because this type of adjustment was something that they hadn't had to go through in their life, or they had only had to do it once before. So, I am not saying that moving around all the time was awesome, but there might have been some redeeming qualities in it after all.

Second, this might have been the first time in my life when I was really challenged in my beliefs. Not just about Christianity, but about drinking, partying, smoking, work ethic, appropriateness in behavior towards the opposite sex, swearing, intentions, life goals, purpose, and many others. The reason I said 'humbly' at the beginning was because I pretty much thought that I had all of those things figured out. I knew where I stood on them, and that was that. Growing up in a Christian home and school has its advantages and disadvantages, but I never thought that one of the advantages would be my friend choices. In college, I wanted to be friends with Christians, because I knew that we would have the same morals and everything, but I think it went deeper than that. I made friends with people who all held to the same belief system that I did, and I thought that was just a perk of them being Christian, but I think that subconsciously, I was also choosing them for other reasons as well. I made friends with people because I knew that they wouldn't rock the my belief system boat. No one really wants a friend who constantly makes them feel uncomfortable or who pressures them to do things contrary to what they would otherwise do...like party instead of write a paper. Therefore, it never really occurred to me that my friends were half of the reason I never found myself in certain situations. We sometimes talked about drinking, but only when we were 21, we would talk about not doing our papers and spending the whole night watching Hugh Jackman movies, but we never did. We talk a big game, but when it comes right down to it, I think I chose friends who were as structured as me, and I didn't do it on purpose. I have never been so thankful or so proud of my friends in my whole life! I'm even getting a little emotional thinking about it :) I just can't believe that I could have ever taken the amazing people that God has put into my life for granted...and I will be sure to tell each and every one of them that in person when I return. I mean, I loved my friends before I came here, simply because they were my friends and I chose them for who they are. But now, I appreciate the little things, like movie night, or card games till three in the morning, or lying on the floor in the hallways during exam week talking about nothing and everything. I thought all friends did that, but I find that that is not really true. And since I love getting to know people really well (really it's kinda a hobby) spending time with people like that is one of my favorite ways to hang out with my friends. I just love my friends :D

Third, and probably the one that I have spent the most time thinking about is how I have come to stand a little firmer in myself. I think I have mentioned before that I am fairly hard to convince if I have decided that I don't want to do something, and I always thought that was just a superior ability to resist peer pressure (humble, I know), but now I think it has to do with the fact that I have never really had to the choice to do things that I don't normally do. Again, I think that was a friend choice thing. For the first time, really, I had to decide what I was going to do. It is legal to drink here, so I had to decide if I was going to drink, to what extent, how often, etc. Smoking is "legal" in Amsterdam, so again, do I smoke? Party time is every night except Monday night...how often do I go out, and when I go out, how do I dress, and who am I dressing for? I had thought that these things would be easier to deal with it, but when it is everywhere around you, it becomes harder to remember why you decided not to do it in the first place. I had to set boundaries, I had to know my limits, I had to decide which limits I wanted to set, and that was a first for me. And it was especially hard, because I was surrounded by people with no limits. But, at the end of the day, I know now where my limits are, and that I firmly intend to keep them where they are.

Overall, my trip here has been a learning experience in more ways than one, and God has been there for me through the good times ad the bad, and there have been a few bad times. I can't imagine how my life would have turned out if I hadn't gone on this trip, but I can say that it was an unforgettable experience with memories that will last a lifetime.